Far too often, we are ready to completely give ourselves to another person. We'll do whatever it is we can to ensure their happiness, health, safety, and satisfaction.
This past January I decided to make a lifestyle change: eat smarter, create a workout system for myself that kept me motivated, say "no" more (something I needed to do). This decision was made based on the fact that I realized that I was giving to others way more than I was giving to myself. Yes, being kind and selfless is extremely important. Don't get me wrong on that. It is important to help others and be there for others. But, know your limits. And, know that you can only give others the best they deserve once you have given it to yourself. I needed to take better care of myself and create a system where 5-10 years down the line, no matter what my life situation was, I had healthy habits developed. But, why did it take me till just January of this year to realize that I needed to do this (or rather, take the steps that needed to be done in order to do this)?
I recently had a conversation with my mom explaining to her that sometimes keeping yourself on track, being kind to yourself, eating right, exercising, and using positive affirmations on the daily, is such a challenge. I asked her why we are often so quick to give up on ourselves and our personal goals when we don't see results we want 5 minutes later? She used a great example to explain why: When a parent has a child struggling in school or being bullied, they do everything they can in their power to help their child overcome their struggles. A parent will work and work to solve a problem their child is facing. So, why shouldn't we do that for ourselves? Why don't we give ourselves that same dedication, love and care?
Here are two things I tell myself that have helped me when I am stuck in a bit of a rut and want to give up taking care of myself and only take care others instead:
- Don't beat yourself up: This, of course, is a lot easier said than done. I find myself dealing with it often. But, I have been able to get a lot better at not being so hard on myself. How? By reminding myself that I am human and will continue to make mistakes. I will not dwell in my mistakes. Because when I do, it pulls be back 5 steps. I will possibly shed a quick tear for 5-10 minutes and then snap myself out of it. As they say "Drink some coffee. Put on gangster rap and handle it", and keep going and growing. It will get better and you will get better.
- Find your inner Beyonce: Yes, seriously FIND IT. Tell yourself you are awesome. Tell yourself that in order to be your best you, you need to love every part, good and bad. Own it. Work on it. Improve it. Celebrate the glory that is you, flaws and all.
Essentially, what I am trying to say here is don't ever give up on being there for yourself. Don't give up on taking care of yourself, being kind to yourself, your goals, whatever it is you need to be a better and happier you. Don't ever forget to give yourself all that you would give to someone you love.
The Smiling Sweetheart