Journal Entry: From Breakdown To Breakthrough-ish
If you’re jumping on to read this post thinking that it’s going to give you the solution to your problems, take a seat and breathe.
Because this is not it. At all.
Do you ever feel like you’re continuously in breakdown mode? Not able to really catch a break or breath? Waiting for the light after a long time on the struggle bus. Waiting for your big (or little) break and yearning for good change.
I recently discovered Brené Brown. Yeah, I know: I am super late to this party, but at least I made it. After my friend introduced me to Brené's “Daring Greatly”, I realized I give vulnerability all the power in my life. Actually, I won’t say I give it all of my power. But, I will say I give it a good majority of it. Particularly the vulnerability of not being “successful” - whatever that is.
Brené talks about how we are always wanting to bask in the joy that the positive consequences of our actions bring us, but when it doesn’t go our way, we’re embarrassed. She’s right. When I heard her say that as I listened to her episode on Oprah’s podcast (listen here), I felt *rightfully* attacked. I am embarrassed. I am a dreamer, maybe a naive one at that. I love to think of exciting ideas to bring to life. I like to think that I look at life with an abundance mindset.
But, holy crap. That is SO hard to do when things continuously do not work in your favor. When you feel like it’s just one challenging thing after the other. Another “No” to add to the list. Another loss to figure out how to make up. When things fail, don't go the way I want or go badly, I feel ashamed and embarrassed - often looking to others for validation because my self-esteem took a big hit.
And this is where I really began to process what Brené shared. It’s not so much about the aftermath of everything. It’s not about whether you got a “Yes”. It’s not about whether or not everyone loved something you created. It’s about the fact that you even did it. The power is mine and your ability to do. To create. To want. To give. To take. To pitch. To ask.
It’s far more empowering when you shift your purpose from being perfect and 100% successful to “You know what? I did it. I gave it a shot. I gave it my all. I took a chance. I shot my shot.” The courage of that is far more valuable than the endless "No’s" you may have gotten and the number of “I failed” that you may tell yourself.
I know this journal entry may come across as lacking-direction-hot-mess. But, what it really is (or at least what I’d like for it to be) a reminder to ourselves and an opportunity to shift focus. Let’s work together in letting our guards down and opening the floodgates to failure. Yes, I said what I said: let's welcome failure just as we would welcome success. Deep down, we know that we can only control so much.