What I Learned In 2017...
At first, I didn’t see or feel the need to wrap up 2017 on the blog. Quite frankly, there’s a lot of 2017 that I wanted to permanently leave in 2017, you feel me? But, there were phenomenal life lessons that I learned that I wanted to share with you guys today. Let's do this, shall we?
Your voice is worth absolutely nothing if you don’t use it to speak your truth
I feel most empowered when I am being upfront and honest with myself about things that are happening in my life. This is still a challenge that I struggle with from time-to-time, as being raw and honest opens the door for vulnerability. But, I’ve found that for every moment I spoke my honest truth in 2017, I was a happier person.
Learning to admit when you have made a mistake can be a challenge but is incredibly necessary for your healing and growth
Coming to terms with your faults and realizing that you will never be perfect and you will make mistakes and being able to own up to all of it is a powerful skill. This past year I learned that it is a skill that is not only powerful but crucial to my growth. I want to implement it more this 2018.
If something doesn't bring you joy, DELETE IT.
Understand what it means to be around toxic people and separate yourself from situations and connections that surround such people. This also refers to items in your life, practices in your life, and behaviors you inhabit. If the people around you and the activities you participate in are not making you happy or do not bring purpose into your life, then they are irrelevant and useless. All in all: DETOX DETOX DETOX. Even more, I can’t stress how liberating it is to get rid of materialistic clutter in your life. This past year, every 3 months I removed items in my room and my home that did not add value to my life and asked myself, “Does this bring me joy?" . It opened my eyes to a lot of unnecessary crap I’ve brought into my life and given real estate to.
Accept the fact that not everyone is going to show love the same way that you might.
Just because someone shows they care and love you in a way that’s different than how you do, does not mean you are 1) any better than them or 2) not loved by them. (*I feel like this is a blog post in itself, so I will definitely touch up on it more in the future*)
The most growth you will ever experience is when you are pushed way outside of your comfort zone.
I ultimately learned this lesson in 2017 when I gave my speech at CAIR Talks. Quite frankly, during the end of August and almost the entire month of September, I was a ball of anxiety and nerves leading up to my speech. I went through moments of feeling like a fraud, questioning my own goals, and wondering why anyone would want to listen to anything I would have to say. I was freaking out thinking about all the things that could go wrong during my speech, how I could fail, and how I could just end up making an absolute fool of myself. But, it was in those months that I grew so much as a person because I was forced to fight, instead of flight. I knew the speech was something I needed and wanted to do. And, I knew I could not let my fears hold me back because then that would truly make me a fraud. It was an experience that showed me that the only way to go through something is to grow through something. I learned quite a bit about myself, some really good and some things that I need to work on, like developing more strategic techniques for handling stress. Most of all, the experience taught me that if you can do something that scares you and pushes you out of your comfort zone and help at least one person, it is worth it.
"Sorry" will never be as powerful as "Thank you."
This is helpful was helpful to me this past year as I am someone that apologizes way too much. Instead of apologizing for making an easy mistake or asking your friend for help, saying “Thank you so much for your patience with me as I figured that out. I really appreciate it.” and “Your help was so valuable to me. Thank you so much for taking the time for me. I hope I can do the same for you.” Instead of saying “Sorry” and leaving it at that, I’ve found that using “Thank you.” in such situation adds value and heart.
Your 20s will consist of a lot of unlearning
Unlearning the ways you talked to yourself that you thought was “right” or “ok”. Unlearning systems and habits that society and school have taught you. Unlearning your own unhealthy habits.
Don't let anyone talk down your feelings or your struggle.
This belief is embedded deep in my brain. Although I am still learning how to put it into practice, I stand by it 100%. When someone shares their feelings, worries, anxieties, struggles and the like, do not attack them. Empathize with them. Be a source of support and understanding. Scolding them will get you and them nowhere, and only invites negativity/toxicity into the relationship/environment. Stop with the “Why would you feel like that? That’s weird.” and start with the “I’m so sorry you feel that way. Do you want to talk about it?", "Can I help in any way?”, or "I absolutely respect that."
What did you learn in 2017?
I wanna know! Comment below =)